Becoming A Plucky Therapist
Becoming A Plucky Therapist
My Wishes for You this Year
Every one of us works in a field that is challenging and can be difficult yet so fulfilling. Our offices are filled with people who struggle each day, and at the end of the day, we come home to take care of our own families and ourselves.
We've all heard the metaphor about the airplane oxygen mask safety tip. If the oxygen masks drop down, we need to put our masks on first so that we can be available to help other people. While this might be a much-repeated metaphor, it's also accurate. We tell it to each other over and over again because it is true.
Taking care of yourself first in the real world isn't as simple as just putting an oxygen mask on and turning to the person next to you. And in our daily life, there are many things that we need to do to take care of ourselves, and here are the 12 things that I wish for you for this year.
May you experience more mindfulness in your life.
I recently heard the phrase, "Be where your feet are." I love this statement because mindfulness is about being where our feet are. Mindfulness is being fully present in our physical space. So as we teach our clients to be more mindful, we, too, need to practice mindfulness.
"Give yourself permission to allow this moment to be exactly as it is, and allow yourself to be exactly as you are."
― Jon Kabat-Zinn
If you don't have a daily practice, start today. Create a daily practice of meditation, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, or other practices that work for you. Take time today and invite more peace and focus into your life.
May you increase time in nature.
The Japanese have long known the benefits of forest bathing, also known as shinrin-yoku. Studies have shown extensively that just a couple of hours a week in nature has been shown to reduce blood pressure as well as symptoms of anxiety, stress, and depression. As a result, the Japanese national health service has included forest bathing as an intervention for mental health.
Pull out your planner and schedule time for yourself in nature: go outside and sit in the fresh air, take a hike, take a walk, or plant flowers or vegetables in a garden. Find ways to connect with the out-of-doors and, if you're really brave, hug a tree when you're on your hike.
May you be purposeful in connecting with others.
Carefully choose the people you invite into your inner circle with whom you form deep and lasting relationships. Choose to be around people who lift you up and who don't tear you down. Spend time doing with people rather than just being around them. You have a busy schedule, so schedule time with friends and family. Don't just wait and hope for time with them to just happen. When you run into people you want to spend more time with, don't say, "Oh, we should get together and have lunch sometime." Instead, take the time and make a plan. Either set a time to call each other and schedule something or pull out your calendar and schedule a get-together.
May you take better care of your physical self.
Remember to schedule your medical appointments and dentist appointments. Taking care of your physical health is just as important as your mental health. And once you've scheduled these appointments, only cancel them if you have no choice.
Take breaks during the workday to move; take a walk or stretch. Drink plenty of water, and don't skip your lunch.
May you create small rituals to simplify your life.
Do you have a morning wake-up ritual or routine? Choose something that makes your morning more manageable and helps you to get out of the house on time and ready for your day. Figure out what works best for you. Consider getting up and starting your morning by drinking a glass of water followed by stretching or yoga. Then, have a cup of coffee while you read or write for a few minutes before getting ready and heading to the office.
What about a routine between clients? We all make the run for water in the restroom and hurry to write our progress not. But how about taking a moment for yourself before you welcome your next client into the office. Consider taking three deep breaths and rolling your shoulders to release any tension.
And finally, an end-of-day ritual for when you're leaving work. One of my favorite professors in grad school suggested this to me, and I have carried it with me over the years. The end-of-day ritual could be as simple as intentionally turning out a lamp in your office and saying good night to your space. Or it could be marking a spot partway between the office and home as your transition point. Or truly shedding the day by changing your clothes each day when you get home, taking off the work clothes, and putting on home clothes. Whatever you choose for your rituals, they need to be symbolic and help you shift from one space and mindset to another.
May you take time to move your body each day.
We spoke earlier about the importance of caring for our physical bodies, and movement is a critical part of caring for our bodies. So find time each day to do something to move your body: take a walk, dance, do some yoga or stretching, join a sports team, or run. Whatever you do to move your body, choose something that makes you feel good.
May you spend time learning something that has nothing to do with your work.
Most clinicians I know are learners by nature. We spend a great deal of time learning more to help our clients better. But being a therapist is only one part of who we are. Take time to explore and learn more about things that interest your other parts.
Take an art class, learn a foreign language, learn how to build a birdhouse, and learn to do something that is not about psychology, sociology, etc. Instead, learn something that uses other parts of your brain.
May you get enough rest.
We often speak to our clients about the importance of sleep. We know that sleeping eight hours or more is essential for our brains to rest and re-cooperate. Sleep is important for our well-being, including mood management, improving memory, creativity, productivity, and decision-making skills.
But in addition to getting enough sleep, taking time off is also important. Take a vacation and leave your laptop and cell phone at the office. Schedule time on your first day back in the office in the morning to respond to emails and phone calls before you start seeing clients again.
Plan enough time before and after personal appointments, so you're not rushing to and from them or skipping lunch to make it back to see a client.
May you leave your work at the office.
Write your notes and reports in the office. Stay late if you need to, and then flex time later in the week. But whatever you do, don't bring your paperwork home. Instead, maintain a firm boundary between work and home. Remember, home is where you get nourished.
May you have a professional support team.
This will include your clinical supervisor, whose job is to help you increase your clinical skills and ensure that you are following ethical guidelines and agency procedures and policies. If you are in private practice or an agency where you feel you are not getting your clinical supervision needs met, make sure you hire your clinical supervisor to provide that support.
Also, consider having a consultation team or consultation partner. This is not supervision, nor is it your personal therapist. A consultation partner is someone who can help you to process your concerns or vent your feelings. They are there to support you and your self-care and provide encouragement. This person should have no administrative or clinical oversight of you.
The final person in your support team is your therapist. Make a point to see your own therapist regularly. We all have things we continue to work through in our personal lives. And we sit with our client's big emotions each day which can take a toll on us emotionally. Every therapist needs someone to talk to openly and with complete confidentiality.
May you start today.
So as we continue into this year, take some time to complete a self-inventory. Assess how you're doing and what areas of your self-care need improvement. Then, before you go to bed today, set a few small steps you can take tomorrow to build mastery and increase peace and joy in your life.